The Deathless Robot Hookers of Myspace

6:32 PM me: You need to join facebook so we can play scrabulous.

6:33 PM Laura: what is it?

me: online scrabble

but not timed.

Laura: and can it possibly be worth joining facebook?

me: yes.

plus you can play zombie wars.

you know this will be fun.

6:34 PM Laura: how about zombie scrabble?

me: we could try.

perhaps that’s an untapped application that will make you millions if you make it.

Laura: there’s a business model for me

I don’t think zombies are very good at scrabble

6:35 PM would make for a very short and messy game

me: exactly

my friend porochista would be all over it.

Laura: I picture a scrabble board covered with body parts

me: what upsets her is that she can’t throw the board when she’s losing if it’s online.

6:36 PM Laura: and throwing a laptop really isn’t nearly as satisfying

and a lot more expensive

me: yeag

plus, pieces don’t fly everywhere with that wooden click.

6:37 PM Laura: and you can’t fondle all your nice smooth tiles

6:38 PM if you’re playing online

me: that’s ok with me.

Laura: I’m afraid you’re just going to have to come visit if you want to play scrabble with me

I don’t think I’m going to be on facebook anytime soon

me: I actually enjoy it online. but okay.

6:39 PM Laura: there must be other places one can play online, yes?

aside from face book?

6:40 PM me: uh…I don’t know.

that’s the thing about facebook.

everything is in one place.

6:41 PM Laura: oh well.

not sure why I’m so resistant to facebook

me: gregg taylor is there.

6:42 PM Laura: I have enough online places to monitor. do I really need another one?

oh, well, if GGreg is there!

me: what social networking sites are you on?

There’s all these act up people on there. it’s so funny.

Laura: really? who else?

6:44 PM me: uh, [redacted]…

those are nyc peeps

6:46 PM Laura: do I really need to be on a social networking site? should I get caught up with this web 2.0 all the kids are raving about these days? will it make my life better?

me: it’s somehow very reassuring and I like the asynchronous nonverbal communication.

6:47 PM Laura: there is that.

which sites do you like?

6:48 PM me: I like facebook more than friendster or myspace.

I never get hookers trying to get my attention like I do on myspace.

and friendster, it seemed like everyone was very weird and not as fun.

Laura: I am on friendster.

6:49 PM or at least I was – haven’t checked in ages

6:50 PM me: there’s also goodreads, which I like a lot.

6:51 PM and is book oriented.

Laura: and no hookers?

6:53 PM me: no

Laura: or at least well read hookers

6:54 PM me: I just get tired of deleting robot hooker porn solicitations on myspace.

Laura: there are a few of those about

me: they’re always like, ‘Hi, I’m not on here much anymore…so go here…’ and I just think, that’s such a lie. You are always on here, sending people these emails. And you’re a robot.

I want to write back and say, do you do this from a phone while you shop?

6:55 PM I want hookers to tell me the truth.

Laura: “robot hooker porn” gives me an entirely different mental image than what I think you meant. very funny. I think it involves Bender from futurama….

me: yeah. love Bender.

6:56 PM Laura: you have to pay them extra for the truth. or at least tip well.

7:00 PM me: that’s the thing.

7:04 PM Laura: back. we’re cleaning up after a big party last night.

the kitchen floor is really sticky but I don’t feel like mopping it.

7:05 PM i just mopped it yesterday, damn it

me: Yes.

But sticky is gross.

Laura: I think someone dropped a drink

it is. my feet stick to the floor. I will mop it, I just resent having to do it

me: well, I’m a go make me some dinner. Good luck with getting your mind around mopping.

7:06 PM Laura: k. later.

me: if you find an online scrabble game we can play I’ll play you.


doesn’t have to be facebook.

Laura: maybe if I were on facebook I could find some hookers to clean the floor for me!

me: there you go…

7:07 PM Laura: I’m clearly just not thinking through all the possibilities.

anyway. enjoy your dinner.


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